I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
