So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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