Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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