woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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