Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
