I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize