dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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