I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
