Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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