This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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