I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
