My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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