Porn is love you can see.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
