The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
