The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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