Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
