I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
