ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
