You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
