do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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