I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
