Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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