Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
