She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize