either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
