So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
