Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
