called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
