My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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