i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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