we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
