i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize