Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Semen is not good for contacts.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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