Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize