Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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