we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
