a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
