I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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