i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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