and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My feet surprised me
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