wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
