when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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