I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
