the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
