I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
