I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
