it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
