Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
