I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
