Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
