if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
