I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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