I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
