Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
