ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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