from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
