I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
