Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
