bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
