so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize