my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
