I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
