At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
