My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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