So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
