I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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