u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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