he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
