I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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