Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
