lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
