at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Enjoy the penises
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
