Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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