Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
