i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
