there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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