it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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