Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
